In reading "A Vision of Recovery" I am struck more by concepts that jump out of at me rather than any particular sentences.
- Broken Promises: On Page 496, the Indian discusses his promise to take his son to the movies, only to go back on his word after starting to drink. 'I meant it from the bottom of my heart' - That I could comprehend. In my drinking career, many a time the pursuit of alcohol led me down a path of dishonesty. But early on I was proud of the fact that I was not a "liar" - liars were people who deliberately set out to hurt someone; premeditated as it were. That was not me - I would never have done or said the things I did if I was not drunk. Nothing like taking no responsibility for my actions. Recovery teaches me that being an 'honest man' is a full time job. There is no 'except when I'..............
- Hope: The spiritual principle for Step Two is Hope. On Page 498, the Indian makes the statement "I had the nerve to question Step Two and wonder why I had been restored to sanity". He was in the hospital, clinging to life and yet he drank the booze his friends brought him. Any "normal" person would think that to be insane indeed. But as an alcoholic, that choice makes perverse sense to me. I am not proud of that fact. From DWI's to jumping out a 2nd story window to smashing my head through a windshield, these events were ones where most would see proof that not drinking was an appropriate response - which I certainly do as well when enveloped in recovery. Conversely, when in the active denial of drinking these same events are coincidence or simply bad luck. That is indeed insane!!
Have a wonderful holiday - I am off to the gym and then to treatment. Life is indeed wonderful
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