Gratitude in Action

In reading pages 193 to 195, there are three passages that spoke to me in that deep, loud "Dumb-ass this is you" voice.

"I could go back to where I was if I forget the wonderful things that have been given to me...............or forget that God is the one that keeps me on the path"

• This is exactly what happened. I went back to my addiction one time. which led me to hide that one time, which in turn allowed me to drink another time, which led to another omission and so on.....
  

"......Alcohol turned out to be much more powerful than I ever was"

• For three months I told myself "this is the last time, I will begin recovery anew tomorrow morning". That last time was never the last time until the secret was fully exposed and I finally and fully surrendered - alcohol is stronger than I am alone, which is why I need the presence of God and support of other alcoholics.

".....why do you drink so much, you have a wonderful wife, a bright little boy. You have no reason to drink like that"

• This was nearly a daily discussion at the end. When "This is the last time" did not succeed I would tell myself how wonderful my life was (which is absolutely correct). I had no reason to drink and so much to lose if I did......yet I did anyway.

What does reading my answers above tell me.......That I am powerless over alcohol and my life was and is unmanageable.